Dolls
by codenamepapabear
Summary: During a routine search of Klink's office, Hogan and Newkirk make an unsettling find.


Prompt: Pediophobia – fear of dolls

It was just a routine break-in to Klink's office, a trip the Stalag 13 operatives made every week. This time, Newkirk and Hogan entered through the window once the Kommandant was asleep, locked up in his quarters with a glass of warm milk to soothe his indigestion before bed. Taking full advantage of Klink's absence, the pair of prisoners rummaged through his desk drawers, making the usual check for important documents, reports, and assorted paraphernalia. Once in a while, they even found Red Cross package items in the drawers. Klink got greedy and careless now and then, and left his stolen treasures in a far too accessible place.

This time, though, they'd received word that a new set of plans had been sent to all the Kommandants of all the Stalags. London had left clear instructions that this was a rush job, so their search was much more thorough. In addition, Newkirk had brought a special device with him for complicated lock-picking. He made short work of the drawers in Klink's new filing cabinet, commenting in a whisper on each piece of mail he found. "Dear oh dear, his brother's _still_ out of work... and Uncle Heinrich's dreadfully ill. Poor Uncle Heinrich, his goiter must be such a pain."

"Not now, Newkirk." Hogan shushed him quietly, waiting for Newkirk to finish his work, but so far, the plans were nowhere to be found. The colonel helped with every aspect of the search, removing sheaves and stacks of paper from each drawer in turn, but nothing turned up, until...

"Colonel?" Newkirk's voice was soft, almost inaudible. "There's a false bottom in this drawer."

"Then open it." Hogan hastened to his side, kneeling beside Newkirk. With a whisper of 'Right away,' the Englishman went to work. In less than a minute, they were in the clear.

Newkirk lifted out the false drawer and handed it to Hogan, who set it aside. As he peered into the dark space with the help of a small flashlight, a look of unease passed across the corporal's face.

"Gov'nor?"

That was the sign for Hogan to take over. He reached into the pitch dark drawer, then pulled out two crude figurines, doll-like in nature and made from sewn cloth. A sense of vague unease settled over him.

Newkirk had an arm around Hogan's shoulders, trying to get a closer look. "What's that?"

"I don't know." Hogan brought them into the light, a chill running down his spine as he recognized two kinds of uniforms. One was Gestapo type, complete with a red armband with a crudely stitched swastika. The figure's face bore a trademark mustache that identified it as Hochstetter. A cartoonishly angry expression, rendered in ink on top of the figure's cloth face, made it clear what trait that individual was known for. If not for the various pins and needles stuck through the arms and legs of Hochstetter's doll, the depiction would have been almost comical.

The other's face was more nondescript, dabs of black paint signifying the eyes, nose, and mouth, but scraps of brown fabric and leather sewn around the arms and legs bore an uncanny similarity to an American uniform. Newkirk's heart stopped for a beat as he perceived the small officer's cap that was affixed to the doll's head, a near-perfect replica of Hogan's own.

Worst of all, a particularly wicked and thick pin was thrust directly through the heart of the cloth Colonel Hogan, its sharp tip glinting in the light.

Newkirk's grasp on Hogan tightened, his stomach lurching with unease. "Colonel, what are those?" He had an idea, but he wanted confirmation.

"Let's just say I didn't know Klink dabbled in voodoo." Hogan mustered a brave tone. Klink was the vindictive type, sure, but he'd always thought the Kommandant actually appreciated his work. This was just as much an insult to his professional dignity as a threat to his safety.

"Guess he does." Newkirk hunched over the drawer, inspecting its contents again. There was nothing else in it, save for the dolls. "What do we do?"

"For one, take out the pin. I'm no expert on the dark arts, but I don't want to pass before my prime." Hogan handed the doll of himself to Newkirk, looking remarkably calm. "You have steadier hands than I do."

"Colonel?" Newkirk had the sudden and awful sense that he was taking his commanding officer's life in his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do it." Hogan sat back against the side of Klink's desk, waiting.

With steady hands, Newkirk pulled the pin straight up and out, but the tip was dented and got caught on a thread on the way out, tugging slightly at the crude fabric. Newkirk detached it carefully, but heard a strange noise as he did so. Only when he was done and had tucked both pin and doll in his pockets did he glance over at the colonel.

Hogan had a hand clutched to his chest, struggling for breath.

"Gov'nor!" Newkirk rushed to his side, instantly frantic with concern, but Hogan drew a deep, labored breath and stood up, shaky on his feet. He addressed Newkirk after taking another breath. "I'll be okay. Let's get out of here."

"Just what I was about to suggest, sir." Newkirk hastily replaced the drawers and re-locked the filing cabinet, then opened the window and escorted Hogan out, glancing over his shoulder every so often. Hogan was still a bit unsteady but made it out safely, landing on his feet on the gravel with a soft thud. Newkirk kept an arm around his waist and escorted him back to the barracks, then followed him into his office, pulling the doll from his uniform pocket. He hated touching the thing. It felt oddly slimy in his hand. "What d'you want to do with this?"

"I'd suggest burning it, but self-immolation isn't the way I want to go." Hogan tried to keep a lighthearted tone. "Give it to me."

Newkirk surrendered it cautiously.

Hogan turned the thing over a few times, a shudder running through him, then opened up his own cupboard and found a safe place to tuck it away where it wouldn't be found. Later, he could hide it down in the tunnels, just in case. "Thank you."

"No problem, gov'nor." Newkirk put a hand on Hogan's shoulder reassuringly, then left the room, returning to his bunk to think about the evening's experiences. Hogan stayed in his office, turning over ideas in his mind and pondering his own mortality every now and then, but he had more important things to think about.

London still wanted those battle plans.

_Author's note:_

_Some of you may perceive this as out of character for Klink, due to his inherent ineptitude and fundamental incompetence (and therefore, apparent harmlessness). However, he does have a few character traits that would give rise to something like this, demonstrating a far more sinister side. In the episode _The Flight of the Valkyrie_, when Klink has the upper hand over Hogan (which is extremely rare) he turns unusually and disturbingly sadistic. In addition, he subscribes to the supernatural enough that he completely trusts LeBeau's predictions in _The Gypsy_, and in one episode, Hogan mentions Klink's Hochstetter voodoo doll - and Klink doesn't contradict him._

_Klink is petty and vindictive enough that I think he would be the type to keep voodoo dolls of the people he hates. Whether or not Hogan would be included in there is up for debate, but based on Klink's actions in _Flight of the Valkyrie_, it's very possible. If nothing else, he envies Hogan, and wants to keep him under his thumb, or else Klink feels threatened and becomes cruel - hence Hogan's hard work to maintain the illusion that Klink is in command._


End file.
